Holy Matrimony: Satan’s Lies

I got married this past September, and to be honest, the entire year that we were engaged was overwhelmingly exhausting. Though the man I married is exactly who God wants me to be with, Satan still attacked me DAILY with doubt that I was making a mistake. He will attack us from every direction. Because he knows what our marriage represents and he knows our faith in God is strong.

(This next paragraph has sentences taken from the book, Fervent by Priscilla Shirer.)

-Do you know what the number one purpose of marriage is? It’s not the partnership it creates between a man and woman, or the conceiving of children, or the fairy tale ending… It’s to represent the mystery of the Gospel in an active, living form. Marriage was created by God to be an object lesson to the world of the relationship of a believer to God Himself. Each of you will play a significant role in living out this lesson. Just like how God chooses us; a man chooses a bride, loves her, makes a covenant with her, and gives himself completely to her. The woman responds by receiving his love, surrendering to him, entering into this covenant bond with him, and becoming one flesh with him. It’s not a perfect representation but this primary human relationship between husband and wife is meant to be a living witness to others of the love Christ has for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). Marriage stands for the creation of unity among two people who were once separated in every way before love reached out and found the other- the same way God reached out and found us, and covenanted with us, and loved us, and despite what we’re like, still loves us. This image is exactly what the enemy (Satan) wants to tear apart so we have to be fervent in our prayer for our marriage.

This covenant that she is speaking about is what marriage is suppose to represent, but this world we live in today has twisted that. To be more specific, Satan has twisted it. At one point, I thought to myself, “This sinful world has ruined the definition of marriage to the point where I don’t even know why I would want to get married!” But you know what, that is exactly what Satan wants us to think. He wants us to live in sin and throw God out of the picture. He wants to take control of our lives and the ones we love, but guess what, we can stand up to him! We know how the ending goes, God’s children win and get to spend an eternity with him and Satan gets defeated! So the time to start standing up to him is NOW! Let him know that he doesn’t win and he NEVER will.

  1. If you are already married and your marriage is failing or you think your marriage isn’t glorifying God, you can change that. There are so many verses in the Bible that you can use to live by and use to pray over your marriage. Pray daily for the Lord’s guidance. He will bless you & the Bible even says that your husband could be saved because of you, 1 Corinthians 7:16. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Titus 2:4-5, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Proverbs 31:11)
  2. If you’re not married yet, I pray that you would use your relationships to glorify God. Obey his commands and he WILL bless you. Don’t listen to the enemy’s lies. Satan doesn’t like to see couples putting God first and he definitely couldn’t stand seeing my husband & I remaining pure until marriage and would try to tempt us every chance he got, but with help from the Lord, we waited. My husband and I never even slept in the same bed together until we were married. Even though it seems like an unrealistic thing to do these days, you can do it, too. Relationships before marriage obviously should not have the same benefits as they do after marriage. The peace that comes from God for obeying Him is unexplainable and the excitement you get to experience with your spouse on your honeymoon and for years to come is inexpressible. If your significant other doesn’t care about bringing glory to God or living according to His Word, then news flash: You’re not suppose to be with them! “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”‭‭ 2 Corinthians‬ ‭6:14‬ ‭
  3. If you don’t know God: I pray, fervently, that you will reach out to Him. He loves you more than you can imagine. He is waiting for you right now to call on Him. He can save you from a life of misery. He sent His perfect Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. Jesus rose from the grave and defeated death just for us so that we could live with Him forever!  Recognize that you have disobeyed Him, repent/ask for forgiveness, turn away from your sins, and trust in Jesus for salvation and He will save you! Romans‬ ‭10:13-“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” ‬‭1 John 1:9-“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” John 3:16- “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

xoxo, Brooke

‘The Future Husband Checklist’

For as long as us girls can remember, we have longed to be married. We have planned every detail of our wedding. Some of us have even made a checklist of what our potential husband must be like. What we really need be doing is making a checklist for ourselves and prepare ourselves for marriage instead of focusing so much on the guy we want to marry. God will provide the man He has designed for you. As for yourself, make sure you are ready. It seems like we have fallen in love with the wedding ceremony and the idea of being married without even really knowing what it’s about. As I quoted in my last blog:

 Just like how God chooses us; a man chooses a bride, loves her, makes a covenant with her, and gives himself completely to her. The woman responds by receiving his love, surrendering to him, entering into this covenant bond with him, and becoming one flesh with him. Marriage stands for the creation of unity among two people who were once separated in every way before love reached out and found the other- the same way God reached out and found us, and covenanted with us, and loved us, and despite what we’re like, still loves us. -Priscilla Shirer

Make a checklist for yourself. Put some goals and obstacles you need to overcome before getting married. Here is an example:

  1. Overcome past hurts so they won’t effect my marriage. (and forget about them)
  2. Start a career. (it’s good to be financially stable before marriage)
  3. Be able to submit myself to another man.
  4. Learn to cook. (or learn to cook things he will like, lol)
  5. Be able to love a man unconditionally.
  6. Learn to be a forgiving person. (it is harder than you think)
  7. Be able to sacrifice ‘girl time’. (to spend time with him)
  8. Learn how to save money.  ← this one is hard for me.
  9. Don’t be judgmental. (don’t judge based on his past)
  10. Learn to be more secure and confident about myself. ← this one is also hard for me.

Make your own list and seriously work on those things before considering to commit yourself to a man for the rest of your life.

-Here are just a few things I have learned that we ladies must be prepared for in order for marriage to work:

1. You have to surrender yourself to him.    →The definition of surrendering is to ‘submit to authority’. Most people find the concept of surrendering to another person frightening. It doesn’t mean “I give up, have it your way”. Surrendering yourself means letting go. It means putting aside your wants and instead focusing on your husbands wants. You need to figure out what he desires from you, and fulfill those needs. Do whatever you can to please him (as long as it lines up with God’s  Word). When your husband sees how focused you are on pleasing him and supporting him, he will want to do those same things for you. Respect is the #1 thing a man desires from a woman so focus on that. If you feel like you’re not ready to submit completely to a man then spend time in God’s Word and in prayer. Let God change your heart.

Ephesians 5:22-24 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

2. You have to love him unconditionally.   → The definition of Agape love or unconditional love is to “love somebody with no conditions or circumstances: to love completely’. Just like how God loves us no matter what we have done, what we do, or what we are going to do, He still loves us. There is nothing in this world that can separate you from God’s love (Romans 8:38). Same goes with marriage. We are required to love that person no matter what they have done, what they do, or what they’re going to do. Just simply accept them for who they really are. Other than God, your spouse should be first. You have to put them above your children, family, ministry, job, everything. That is the only way your marriage can be successful.

 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails.

3. You can’t let past hurts determine the way you treat him.  →  Never compare your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband to another man, especially to ex boyfriends. Don’t ever think that he is going to do something just because someone else has done it to you in the past. Satan has put various lies in our heads like; “he doesn’t really love you”, “he is going to cheat on you”, “he doesn’t think you’re attractive”, and it’s hard to over look those things. Just remember, he is not your ex. I’ll be the first one to tell you, it’s hard to love someone when (almost) every other man in your life has treated you like garbage. From the time I was in tenth grade (which is 8 years ago) until now, I have had 5 boyfriends. The majority of them cheated on me, left me, was verbally abusive to me, lied to me, and the list goes on and on. Then one day, God sent a wonderful godly man into my life and we have been together for almost 3 years now and married for 5 months. But one thing I still struggle with from time to time is realizing my husband is nothing like any of my exes. He is actually completely the opposite. He puts God first in our marriage. Then he puts me above himself, his family, his hobbies, etc. He’s never going to leave me. So, I must treat him as if no one has ever hurt me or left me.

1 John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

4. You need a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. → This is the most important point of them all…. Do you know Jesus? I don’t want to know if you have heard about him. I just want to know, do you really know who He is? He is the all-knowing, all-powerful, Creator, Redeemer, Almighty God of this world. He loves you. He knew about you before He formed you in your mothers womb. He knew you were going to read this and that you would question yourself if you really know Him. He’s waiting on you. Every person on this earth has sinned, except Jesus. Because we have sinned, we are destined for Hell. But, because God sent His Son to die for us, we can spend eternity with Him in heaven. All you have to do is confess to God that you have sinned, repent of your sins, believe that God raised Jesus from the grave, and trust Him with your life. It will be the best decision you could ever make.

Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you..”

Romans 3:23 “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”

Romans 10:13 “For everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.”

If you do know Him and if you don’t put Him first in your marriage, it will never work. You have got to give your relationships and marriages completely to God and then He will bless them more than you could ever even imagine. Put your trust in Him and let Him do the rest.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

xoxo, Brooke